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Jimmy Fallon Celebrates the F.D.A.’s Full Approval of a Covid Vaccine

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“It’s about time,” Fallon said. “Their statement started with, ‘Hey, sorry, I just saw this.’”

Big Day for Pfizer
After several months and intense pressure to speed up the process, the F.D.A. approved Pfizer-BioNTech’s Covid vaccine on Monday.

“It’s about time,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Their statement started with, ‘Hey, sorry, I just saw this.’”

“Yeah, it was approved by the real F.D.A., the Food and Drug Administration, which is not to be confused with the fake F.D.A., the Facebook Doctors Association.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Approval also offers an opportunity to clear up substantial public confusion. And, look, I’ll admit, it can be confusing to follow. We all wish the F.D.A. and C.D.C. could be more like the S.C.F., which is an organization where people Speak [expletive] Clearly.” — SETH MEYERS

“Yeah, this is great news. Although, if it didn’t get approved, I’m not really sure what the options were: Pfizer store credit?” — JIMMY FALLON

“It must be weird working at the F.D.A. One day you’re approving a lifesaving vaccine, the next you’re approving new s’mores-flavored Oreos.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Exactly what paranoid anti-vaxxers have been waiting for: a stamp of approval by the federal government.” — JAMES CORDEN

“The Pfizer vaccine is now fully approved by the F.D.A., which sounds like a big deal, until you remember that so is Mountain Dew Baja Blast.” — JAMES CORDEN


“Get this: The new name of the fully approved Pfizer vaccine is Comirnaty. Comirnaty, which sounds more like a drunk person trying to say ‘community’: [imitating drunk] ‘You can’t arrest me; I’m a valued member of the comirnaty.” — JIMMY FALLON

“This is amazing news that will hopefully convince more people to get vaccinated, and we should all be thrilled. But, also, huge news that, I guess, we finally ran out of pharmaceutical names.” — SETH MEYERS

“Did the approval catch Pfizer so off guard that they yelled out a name before they were ready? ‘I vote Comirnaty!’” — SETH MEYERS

“Meanwhile, the Moderna and Johnson & Johnson vaccines don’t need F.D.A. approval. They spent lockdown learning to love themselves.” — JAMES CORDEN

The Punchiest Punchlines (From the Horse’s Mouth Edition)
“But the vaccine isn’t the only thing keeping the F.D.A. busy. They recently had to tell people not to treat Covid with a drug that’s given to animals with worms. This is real. They tweeted: ‘You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously y’all, stop it.’ Meanwhile, the people taking it are like, ‘Laugh all you want, but I don’t have Covid, and the worms are almost gone.’” — JIMMY FALLON

TODAY — Pictured: Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday, January 28, 2020 — (Photo by: Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank)

“They are absolutely right. You are not a horse, you are not a cow — you’re a jackass, though.” — STEPHEN A. SMITH, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”

“By the way, if the drug you’re about to take has a horse on the box, you probably shouldn’t take it.” — STEPHEN A. SMITH

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